closed doors...

When God closes doors there are times I want to knock that door down with full force and kick and scream my way through until it is wide open again. That does not go over well, ever!

This past week we have been struggling to accept a closed door. I have cried, I have tried will all "my" power to push that door back open but it has remained shut. Oh what I would do, and have tried to do, to get that door open again. 

Our adoption of Kade has come to a halt and there is nothing Jon and I haven't tried to keep going head strong. 

This is incredibly hard. This is incredibly painful. This is a loss of a child we had already opened our hearts to be our own. A son, a brother, a part of our family. 

Things happen for a reason but at this time we are struggling to find that reason.

We trust in God and his ultimate plan for our life and family BUT that is not always easy.... and this is most certainly not easy.

We ask that you pray with us and for us as we deal with the fact that we will not be adopting Kade.