hacked...

Bethany, I have hacked your blog...I'm sorry...

...but...once upon a time...

...almost 12 years ago, I stood at your parents fireplace, looked into your eyes, and said I promise, forever.

I really didn't understand what the promise meant then.  I just said it, thinking I understood the weight of that promise, but not really having a clue.

From moving, to losing jobs, we have muscled through together.  From losing friends, to losing three precious children, we have wept through together.  From one adoption, to now six children, we have continued on, together. 

Through hurt and pain, and times that we just can't stand each other, we journey on, together. 

Twelve years later, I am beginning to understand a little more about that promise I made.  This life is not easy, and it's not always fun.  But, with my wife, it is never alone.  

This past year, we have begun working out together, something I thought and swore would never happen.  I would never Zumba and you couldn't lift a truck, so we weren't ideal workout partners, but Fireman Fitness has changed all that. 

This past six months, we have run 5k's, half marathons, and have just now completed one of the most challenging races, the Savage, together.

During the 5k's, we stuck together.

You go, we go.

During the half, we stuck together.  You go, we go.

During the Savage, we stuck together.

You go, we go.

Through the past twelve years, as we journey towards seemingly impossible obstacles in life, I've learned to look not at the obstacle before I look to you, and make sure you are with me;  you go, we go.

Upon doing the Savage last week, I caught myself again, running towards an obstacle, but not daring to size it up, until I found you, and we go together.  You go, we go.

Thank you for being there this whole time.  Thank you for putting up with all of my flaws, and thank you for doing life with me.

We cannot be stopped.  We cannot be broken.  Together, we are unstoppable.  

Whatever your future holds, wherever you go...we go.

truth and plea...

Some truth on this week after Easter.

I'm not going to lie, sometimes Easter and Christmas holidays I dread going to church. I am not a holiday outfit shopper (I am not a shopper.) Matchy match clothes are not my thing, nothing wrong with it at all! It is cute and precious with all the kids coordinated and picture perfecto. To be honest, if our kids ever have on uber cute outfits it is because my mother has bought them clothes, which she does often. :) One of her gifts is providing for others in many ways and one just happens to be shopping for my children! Absolutely no complaints about that!

I really don't know why I dislike church going on holidays. The church service is usually pretty amazing, the messages awesome and the worship team knocks it out of the park!
Its maybe because I don't like "hoopla". I don't like big functions or dressing up so maybe that is my internal conflict about going to church services on "Chreaster Sundays". (Christmas and Easter)

This Easter we did our first ever Easter Sunrise service. Saturday night we were all pumped about it. It was going to be at the kid's wake park, Terminus, so everyone was excited! Being that it was outside and not in a building this for sure took away all my anxiety of the typical Easter Sunday at "church".
Ugh, then the alarm went off at 5:45am and Jon and I rolled over mumbling, "what have we done? Why are we waking up this early? Who's idea was it to go to this thing anyway?" Ok, it was my idea, and I was totally second guessing myself in the early morn!

We got up. Got dressed in clean clothes. I know this for a fact because we all were digging through the basket of clean clothes looking for our jeans. ;)

When we pulled up to Terminus at 7:03, we all piled out of the van and our sweet Aaron reaches out from some sort of hidden pocket behind his back and pulls out a muffin. Not a normal muffin, but the Costco size jumbo blueberry muffins!
He whips it out to show us and says, and I quote, "planning ahead,", said with a chuckle.
What!? What are you doing child?! You plan on munching on this during service? Aaron is so nonchalant and really lives in his own special land of "time-bound-lessness". You know what I'm talking about, he is one of those when you say hurry, it does not increase the speed in which these special ones are doing anything. There is no hurry in their minds, there is no pace increase, there is simply their speed. The speed of time-bound-lessness.

So, yes, in his world, he was planning on chowing down on this muffin during service. "Oh, God love him!"
Jon just says, why did you not just eat that thing in the car on our way here?? No response, from him just a blank stare and you could see his thought, "Just didn't think about that!"
All we can do is shake our heads and laugh!
So, instead of eating it, he does something better. He places it under his chair on the front row and saves it for after the service! Haha!

As the service closed it was an incredible moment... Looking out on the sunrise and thinking about the "power of love" that had taking place over last several days thousands of years ago, I couldn't help but get hit smack in the face with a flood of emotions.

I, of course was pondering on the sacrificial love of God.... but then my mind wondered to our Kade. Our precious son miles away. I wondered when he too could be home to experience the crazy mornings of the Easter rush. The times when we all just laugh or cry together. I was thinking about how I pray now and will continue to pray that he too will one day know the love of his savior, Jesus. That he will know love, the love that is so strong that breaks the power of death and beats the chains of a hurtful past.

Sweet precious boy of ours we love you so much. I love you with a fierce mama kinda love that I can't wait to show you. Your daddy is so eager to wrap you up in his arms of love and show you what it means when he says he'll always be there and "he's got your back!" Dads are pretty cool like that. They are brave and strong... and sweet son, your daddy is one of the bravest and strongest I know! 

We are at the point in the adoption process where we are needing to start asking for help. This is the un-fun part of adoption, the necessary wrench that holds up so many adoptions and leaves children "stuck" and families waiting for sometimes upward of three years to bring their children home.

Adoption cost are expensive, like crazy expensive, and we are asking for help in a major financial way.

Here is where we are now:
We need to submit our i800a application to the USCIS. This fee is $890.00. This is our next hurdle that we need to jump in order to move forward.
( If you would like a better understanding of USCIS or the form i800a here is a link to the site: http://www.uscis.gov )

For the most current info on our adoption and the amount of funds needed and ways to help please check out our website under the tab: Bring Kade Home

Our family thanks you in advance for any help, no dollar amount is too small and prayers go a long way! So thank you, thank you for joining us on our journey to Kade!!

*For a complete run down of fees from WACAP (our adoption placing agency) here is the link: http://www.wacap.org/Portals/0/Documents/China%20Adoption%20Fees.pdf