Walking around historic Charleston was the best.
Very quickly, race day arrived. The race was fun, snaking through historic Charleston. Everything was going great until I ended up somewhere between mile marker 6 and mile marker 7. By this point we were well out of the more desirable part of Charleston and were now in the dilapidated, rural area of Charleston.
I have always considered myself a giving person. Bethany and I were even discussing it last night after one of our son's ran his debit card instead of our debit card in the grocery line.
After commenting how he had been like me when I was young, I remarked on how my giving was to my detriment as I cared very little about myself and more for others. And this is a good thought. This is truly where I believe where God wants me to be, but honestly it's not where I'm at. Shamefully, it has been more pleasurable for me to give when it is convenient, and that is not truly thinking of others first. It really isn't.
As I was running between mile marker 6 and mile marker 7 on race day, I passed a run down supermarket. At the roadside was a bench with two homeless people sitting on it, watching runners as they ran by the bench. As I ran by the bench, a man walked up with his apparent belongings piled up in a black trash bag. I looked down past his sweat pants to his socks. He wasn't wearing shoes.
He had apparently worn these socks for a long while, but there were no shoes on his feet.
As I ran past him in my $120 Brooks Ghost 6 running shoes, I made myself feel better by feeling sorry for him. It wasn't until about one hundred yards had past that I considered giving him my shoes instead. Who cares that I was running a race. Who cares that this is why I came to Charleston. There was now a more pressing need and this in fact may be the real reason I was meant to come to Charleston.
But, I hesitated. Hesitation led to reasoning. Reasoning led to justification, and so I justified keeping my shoes for myself, instead of giving them to someone who really needed them.
As soon as it became clear that I was never turning back to give this man these shoes, I regretted my decision. I felt awful. I was a fraud, a fake. I pretend to be good, but at the very core I was selfish.
I promised myself that I would never forget this incident. That I would remember what it feels like to have a choice to do the right thing, the freedom to make the wrong decision, and the regret ensued by the latter.
I asked for a do over.
Remember "do overs"? As a kid, most of us had short windows of opportunities to show our parents that we had learned a new skill, trick, or ability. And inevitably the first time was an abysmal failure!
"DO OVER!" , I would yell, wanting a second chance to prove my new found accomplishment.
Hopefully you know what I'm talking about.
Well, I asked for another chance on race day. Ignorantly, I asked for another shoeless man. I did! I asked God to send another shoeless man and I would give my shoes that time. But, I haven't seen a shoeless man since. It turns out that he might not send that second shoeless man after all.
He might just send a shoebox instead. He might just send a shoebox six years ago, only to be opened now.
You see, there was this little boy who was found on a doorstep in China six years ago. He has never known belonging. He has never known what it is to sit in a car and fight over "his seat". He has never known a place in a family because he has no family, yet. This boy has caretakers, but he does not have a mommy or daddy.
Willy, Gary, Aaron, Becca, and JJ all went to sleep last night with the last words they heard being, "we love you; see you in the morning."
But this boy went to bed a much different way.
This boy is 6 yrs old, so he is now considered less desirable. He does not fall into that sought after, newborn to three years old, age group, so his chances of being adopted grow more and more slim every day.
We might be this boy's forever family. Would you please pray with us that God would open up doors of opportunity if this boy belongs in our home? Would you pray even more so that God would close doors of opportunity if this boy does not belong in our family?
God has this boy's future mapped out. We are currently somewhere between mile 6 and mile 7 on that map right now. We just saw him walk out to watch the world pass him by.
I made a promise I wouldn't just run by again and not do anything.
We've decided to stop, and help. Pray that God will either say to us, "no....not this one", or better yet, "well done, my good and faithful servants."
"no reserves, no retreats, no regrets"
- William Borden
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